Let’s be real—quickies are great for those "I need it NOW" moments, but if your libido has been in hiding lately (thanks, stress, SSRIs, life, or postpartum), it’s time to rethink your approach. Trust me, your body is craving more than just a fast-and-furious session. It’s begging for a slow burn, the kind of buildup that leaves you drenched in pleasure and fully reconnected with your desires.

The Quickie Trap

We’ve all been there—life gets busy, stress levels rise, and suddenly, sex is just another thing to check off the to-do list. So, you rush through it. You aim for the fastest route to the finish line, thinking it’s better than nothing, right?

But here’s the deal: when you're constantly opting for quickies, you're totally short changing yourself. You’re not giving your body the time it needs to fully wake up and feel ev–er–y–thing. It’s like microwaving a gourmet meal—you might get the job done, but it's missing that deep, satisfying flavor. 

Why Slowing Down Is Everything

When was the last time you really took your time with yourself—or with your partner? I’m talking about long, lingering touches that build anticipation, make your heart race, and remind you that sex isn’t just about the orgasm (although, let’s be honest, those are mind-blowing too).

Slowing down allows your body to fully engage with the pleasure. The key to reclaiming your libido isn’t rushing to the finish line but savoring every step along the way. That’s how you wake up that buried desire, how you remind your body it deserves pleasure.

Foreplay Is Your Best Friend

Foreplay isn’t just some “pre-game” activity—it’s the main event. Spending time on teasing, touching, and exploring allows you to rediscover what turns you on. Whether you’re indulging in solo play or with a partner, foreplay builds connection, both with your body and your pleasure. It’s not a step to skip; it’s the secret ingredient that makes the rest taste so damn good.

Here are some foreplay ideas to help you slow down and reignite the spark.

1. Sensual Massage: Set the mood with a slow, full-body massage using an oil or lube like our ON Arousal Oil. The oil’s all-natural botanical blend will enhance sensation and help awaken the senses, making each touch feel electric. Focus on areas that don’t always get attention—neck, shoulders, back, inner thighs. Let your hands explore every inch with the intent of building anticipation.
2. Tease and Delay: Use light touches, soft kisses, and gentle teasing to build tension. Move close to intimate areas, but don’t go straight for the goods—let the anticipation drive both of you wild. Incorporate Pure Instinct Pheromone Fragrance Oil to add an irresistible allure to your scent. It’ll intensify the chemistry between you and your partner.
3. Temperature Play: Add some heat (or cold) to your foreplay routine. Use an ice cube to trace along sensitive areas or warm up with Sizzle Lips Warming Edible Gel. The gel not only heats up when blown on, but it also tastes amazing, so you can mix sensual touches with delicious kisses for an unforgettable experience.
4. Slow Undressing: Make undressing part of the fun. Slowly take off each other's clothes, savoring the moment. Pausing between each article of clothing keeps the anticipation high and gives you time to enjoy every reveal.
5. Eye Contact & Breathwork: Take a moment to really lock eyes with your partner. Eye contact builds deep emotional intimacy. Sync your breathing together as you touch—this adds a level of mindfulness that helps you stay fully present and connected.
6. Mutual Self-Pleasure: Start with a little solo play—either together or watching each other. Use the I Lilac Me Wand to explore your body slowly, showing your partner what gets you going. It’s a slow, sexy way to build arousal without rushing toward the finish line.
7. Oral Focus: Spend extra time on oral sex, focusing on every slow movement and sensation. Tease and explore, gradually building up the intensity. Try using ProBlo Ahh...some Blow-Job Gel to add a warming sensation and extra flavor, making the experience even more mouth-watering (literally!).
8. Play With Toys Together: Incorporate a toy (or two!) into foreplay. Vibrators, feathers, or even a blindfold can heighten sensations and anticipation. The Temptasia Safe Word Bondage Kit is perfect for this—use the blindfold, restraints, or gag to build trust and excitement as you tease each other to the brink.

Mindful Sex = Mind-Blowing Orgasms

Slowing down doesn’t just mean physically taking your time. It’s also about being mentally present. We live in a world where our minds are constantly racing, but when you let yourself be fully in the moment—when you focus on the way your partner's hand feels against your skin, or how your own touch sends shivers down your spine—you reach a completely new, out-of-this-world level of pleasure.

Mindful sex isn’t a buzzword, it’s your key to mind-blowing orgasms. Stop thinking about your grocery list and start thinking about how f*cking good you feel.

Rekindling That Sexy Spark

If your libido’s been on life support, slowing down might just be the CPR it needs. Take the time to really understand what your body craves now—it might not be the same things you loved before, and that’s totally normal. Give yourself permission to explore without rushing, and you’ll find that desire creeping back, stronger than ever.

Ready to Take It Slow?

Let’s ditch the quickie mentality and reclaim your pleasure by slowing things down. Give yourself permission to luxuriate in every sensation, every touch, every moment of connection. After all, there’s no rush—just the pure, unadulterated joy of rediscovering your desire.

And if you’re not sure where to start, I’ve got you covered. My Reclaim Your Libido Course is all about slowing down, reconnecting with your body, and reigniting that lost spark. You deserve to feel amazing, and I’m here to help you every step of the way. 

So, let’s slow down and turn up the heat, because pleasure is a journey—one you’re meant to savor.

I’m Courtney, and I’m so glad you came…slowly.